August 27, 2026 · Slapstick Dungeon Crawl
3crits 1fails 13kills

Player Summary

Three adventurers, one royal tomb, and a lich who will not stay dead.

The session opens exactly where July 30 froze: skeletons in a catacomb hallway, Kimber’s Cloud of Daggers still spinning in an archway. Caelum, who missed the whole “long rest and mystery potions” era, gets pulled back in with the wrong spells prepared and a brand-new third eye he’s still learning to drive.

And drive it he does. Both normal eyes closed, middle eye open, 4th-level Magic Missile. Four bolts hit the skeleton. The other bolts hit Idril, because the skeleton was inside Idril, who is still a Large water elemental who speaks only Primordial.

Orion arrives from the monastery mid-fight and gets the full tour: a water elemental waving at him, a ghost named Kruger drifting behind the party, and a wizard with three eyes. “What do you mean, that’s Idril?”

Idril spends the session as the world’s most chaotic siege engine: grappling a skeleton and beating a zombie to death with its leg, flipping every memorial lid in a room full of cremation niches, picking a lock with a “nail,” pocketing two lit torches, and turning a burning floor brazier into a crypt sauna.

Between fights, the picture sharpens. This is a ROYAL tomb, the Valaryn royal tomb, and the stairs connect right up to where Mexoz was first found. The lich was one of this town’s royals. There’s a memorial to the bravest guard dog. There’s a statue of Raskoln, Warlord of Destruction, that is newer than everything around it and hovers half a foot off the floor. And in the deepest chamber sits Mexoz’s TRUE sarcophagus: sealed by two extreme-case dial locks, radiating magic, with a forbidden book caged in steel and bolted to the lid. The Lexicon of Istra.

Then Caelum lights the last room up with a Lightning Bolt, and there he is. Mexoz. Third time. Behind him, a colossal statue of a beautiful woman with a sword through her chest. Orion, quietly: “It’s Aira. Found her.”

Roll credits.

Session Timeline

  1. Cold open, mid-combat - The party picks up the July 30 fight; Cloud of Daggers still holds two skeletons at the archway.
  2. Caelum re-inserted - No dungeon spells prepared (“the six-week long rest” he wasn’t there for), familiar not summoned.
  3. Third eye debut - Both normal eyes shut, middle eye focused, 4th-level Magic Missile; elemental Idril eats the bolts meant for the skeleton inside him.
  4. Orion rejoins - Back from the monastery, meets elemental Idril and Kruger the ghost for the first time.
  5. Corridor cleanup - Skeletons and zombies fall room by room; Idril clubs a zombie with a grappled skeleton’s leg.
  6. The memorial room - Cremation niches, the guard-dog plaque (“Bingo!”), animal remains, and a nat 20 nature check worth 17.
  7. It’s a royal tomb - The Valaryn royal tomb; stairs connect up to Mexoz’s original sarcophagus room. Mexoz was royalty.
  8. The stone door - No Knock prepared; nail-lockpicking fails, then eventually succeeds (a 13 and a broken nail).
  9. The Raskoln statue - A recent “bastardization” of the Warlord of Destruction, wall-mounted, hovering half a foot off the floor.
  10. Crypt sauna intermission - Idril sits on a burning floor marker; steam everywhere.
  11. Mexoz’s true tomb - Twin 5-dial locks, strong magic, and the steel-caged Lexicon of Istra bolted to the lid. Nothing opens.
  12. Lightning Bolt reveal - 30 damage lights the deep chamber: Mexoz stands there, third encounter, with the impaled statue of “Aira” looming behind him. Session ends.

Encounters

#EnemiesLocationOutcomeNotable
1Leftover skeletons (July 30 remnants + reinforcements)Catacomb corridorsWinMagic Missile friendly fire into elemental Idril; Orion arrives mid-fight
2Zombies + skeletons, room by roomRoyal tomb corridorsWinSkeleton-leg beatdown (28 bludgeoning); Orion “He’s dead. Again.”
3Zombies in the deep chamberBeyond the archwayWin (then cliffhanger)Lightning Bolt (3rd, DC 17) for 30 lights up Mexoz himself

Combat Summary

Party Status (Post-Session)

CharacterConditionResources Used
CaelumHealthy, face to face with a lich1 Bladesong, Magic Missile (4th), Lightning Bolt (3rd), Detect Magic; DM granted a post-session spell swap
OrionPOISONED (~7 days left), otherwise fineMinor; melee only
IdrilStill a Large water elemental (took 8 friendly fire + skeleton pokes)Slams, grapples, dignity

Key Decisions

Quests & Progress

Unresolved Threads

Reminders for Next Session

Loot & Gold