August 27, 2026 · Slapstick Dungeon Crawl
Session opens where July 30 left off: Kimber's Cloud of Daggers still spinning, two skeletons still politely waiting in it, and half the party still somewhere else entirely.First table use of the third eye. Caelum closes both normal eyes, focuses the middle one, and fires a 4th-level Magic Missile. Four bolts hit the skeleton. The rest hit Idril, who was wearing the skeleton at the time. 8 damage. "See, that was beautiful."Orion returns from the monastery to find a water elemental, a ghost named Kruger, and a wizard with three eyes. "What do you mean, that's Idril?"Grapple check: 22. Idril slams the skeleton for 28, keeps the leg, and beats the zombie with it. "He's going to eat it like Deadpool did Wolverine.""Nearby is the bravest guard dog I've ever had." The table, in unison: "Bingo is his name-o." Nat 20 nature check confirms: animal remains. It's a 17. Elemental INT is rough.A statue newer than the tomb it's bolted into, hovering half a foot off the floor. Raskoln, Warlord of Destruction, General of the Abyss. Nobody installed this 700 years ago.Idril finds one of the three burning floor markers and sits on it. The royal tomb of the Valaryn line is now a sauna. "Why would there be a sauna in a crypt?"Mexoz's true tomb: two dial locks "used in very extreme cases" and a forbidden book, the Lexicon of Istra, caged in steel and bolted to the lid. Caelum's professional opinion: books get sealed like this so nobody ever reads them. Idril's counter-offer: "Ten minutes, then I'm licking it."Lightning Bolt, 30 damage, lights up the whole room. And there he is. Third time. "Buddy, old pal, old mine." Behind him, a statue of a woman with a sword through her chest. Orion: "It's Aira. Found her." End of session. 
